Entertainment Big Brother

Nadia Almada is Winner of Big Brother UK 2004

And as quickly as it came upon us, it retreated into the ether. Tonight saw Shell evicted, followed by Daniel leaving the favourite Nadia with nobody's favourite Jason. How Jason came second I can only put down to the cruel sense of humour of the voting public. Nadia Almada (27), the portuguese transexual who moved to the UK eight years ago, took the title and the sixty three and a half thousand pound prize.

Evict Michelle

Please, please, please people. Do the right thing. Vote to evict Michelle, vote now and vote often. She is

• nausea inspiring with Stu
• a crap-e-ee-e-ee singer
• very jealous that Stu is chained to Shell
• stupid

True, Jason is extremely annoying, however he's harmless and can just be ignored. Evict Michelle and it will make the TV event of the year. Spread the word. Thank you.

Big Brother Sex - Stuart and Michelle

Gavin fesses up to watching Big Brother and links to the news that Bookmakers are convinced that Stuart and Michelle 'got it on' under the table. Accordingly bookies are paying out to those savvy punters who predicted that Michelle would finally manage to grind Stuart's resistance down.

Big Brother New Housemate Becki Seddiki

Just when it started to get boring again after the fight and the Stu & Michelle liasion, Big Brother producers have added Becki Seddiki to the House.

Becki (Seddiki) wants to pursue a musical career but is currently studying floristry. A psychology graduate, she enjoys living alone and comes from a religious family. She has ridden nude on a motorbike down Route 66 and describes herself as loud, unconventional and a control freak. Becki entered the House on Day 31.

Maybe I'll watch it for a few episodes, see if this invigorates everything.

Big Brother Fight

And to think that some people don't think reality tv is quality fare...

Jason flips the table in the living area and starts yelling at Nadia, pointing in her face. Nadia screams back as Marco looks on aghast. "I'll f*****g take your head off," Jason tells Emma.

Things kick off amongst everyone and the camera switches to the outside shot. "Never f*** with me, Emma!" shouts Victor as plates are heard being smashed.

BB calls Victor to the DR immediately. "You ain't f*****g s**t to me," he tells Emma. "I'll f*****g show you!"

It seems as if Victor and Emma have been dragged apart. "I'll f*****g kll ya," Emma shouts as she's dragged away to the bedroom. Stuart holds Victor back. - from DS:BB

Apparently the housemates have been segregated and security guards have been posted in the house. Live feeds were pulled from TV and the 'net. It's Big Brother Carnage. Nice.

Big Brother 2004 Stuart & Michelle

Oh dear, Stu is heading for trouble with the dim (and very keen) Michelle. Surely he can't fancy this woman who does nothing but whine, "What are you thinking?", "Do you like me?", "Do I intimidate you?", "Have I embarrassed you?" while stalking his every move. The body language is telling. Does he have the will power not to go for the easy option though?

Big Brother 5

After the somewhat dull Big Brother 4 of 2003 Channel 4 and Endemol have done us proud in the line up of residents for BB5 2004.

A former asylum seeker, a wannabe Page 3 girl and an animal rights activist are among the contestants on this year’s Big Brother.

The 12 housemates were unveiled in a live launch show tonight.

They include Daniel, a gay hairdresser who claims he only sleeps with straight men, and Marco, a former Samaritan who describes himself as “the biggest bitch on the planet”.

The oldest housemate in the Channel 4 show is 44-year-old Ahmed, a Muslim property developer who came to Britain from Somalia as an asylum seeker.

Youngest are big-headed student Stuart (he and his friends have dubbed themselves “Team Handsome”) and legal administrator Emma, both aged 20.

Among the six girls are Vanessa, a South African archery champion, and Nadia, a Portuguese bank clerk with gravity-defying breasts.

Oh the excitement is palpable. No, really, it is.