Penknives were originally used to sharpen quill pens. In 1810, the Bank of England bought a year's supply of 1.5 million quill pens - five pens per clerk per day.

The reason I was thinking about penknives is that a few days ago Benedict Brogan blogged, Not pen-knives, surely in which he comments on Ken Jones of the Association of Chief Police Officers apparently saying, "what good reason would young people have to carry even a penknife?" What's it all coming to?

The last time was a couple of years ago at Sandwood Bay in the western highlands of Scotland. It rained, it was a 5 mile walk to even get to the beach, there were, lets say, ample midges, it was deeply uncomfortable and what food we were able to cook on some crappy little stove was, not to put too fine a point on it, shit. And then, in the morning the sun shone, the tent magnified the heat of the sun making a 7am rise compulsory. At which point I discover that midges are early risers also.

Clubbing, as I'm sure I will have mentioned, is my idea of a perfect nightmare. Too many people (most of whom I assume by their complicity in the clubbing thing aren't my kind of people anyway), too loud to converse, too expensive, too much bad music. Too, too, too much.

I am struggling to understand why I thought it would be a good idea to go camping and clubbing in Annecy tonight.

Well, I presume my body and mind were staging a protest when last night they conspired to make me dream of drinking Tennents. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how good it was.

Reliable sources (MSN Astro Center) suggest this is explained thusly;

Alcohol (Beer, Wine, Liquor)

Dreaming of drinking beer, wine, etc., in moderation, under happy circumstances—with friends, at a party, etc.—indicates that success lies ahead. However, in any dream of alcohol, there is always the underlying warning that excesses can lead to trouble.

Today was a very nice day for swimming in the River Findhorn

So - and here's the great news - today I saw their twins in Schuh** and replaced my old ones with EXACTLY the same specification of shoe, something I should have done a long time ago. And they are giving me happiness as we speak. These shoes are far and away the comfiest shoes I have ever owned. Twice.

So, two things. First, I wish I was rich enough to buy several clones of things I like. It is rare to find perfection, you should only have to find it once. Second, there should be a unique worldwide product number or some such for every product ever made, from Cremola Foam to Koudenberg Shoes. Like an ISBN number. So you don't have to faff about with size and colour and texture and other variables. And there should be some system where you can just go to a web site which will track them down and get you new ones.

* I do not actually have a shoe "collection".
** Which until a year or two ago I thought was called sk-huh. Like sk from ask and huh from huh? Not because I'm stupid, just because I never thought about it.

Oh, yah, more interestingly I put up my recipe for mince and tatties which I cooked tonight, and which was awesome, on my other blog ;)

It's easy to do that when your birthday isn't imminent.

But now it is, and I've just been IM'ing with my stocks and shares guru Gregor - we worked out that if I'd saved the money I've spent on cigarettes over the years (and compounding the interest) I'd have a cash pot now of £31383. And if I did this for a further 12 years then my cash pot would be £126367. Wow.

But it gets worse.

Had I instead invested in shares of Phillip Morris (MO), taking into account dividends and splits my investment would now be worth £44826.55. And, if I continued for another 12 years then my investment would be worth £678615.78 assuming MO returns 24% a year which is what it has done on average since 1994.

Aside from this though, I'm going snowboarding in 6 weeks or so and prime mountain biking season is upcoming. It'll be interesting to be able to breathe.

The coupons, when entered in during checkout on Threadless, make all the tees in your order just $10!!! You have to buy 3 or more tees and the coupons expire on February 25th.

Here are the codes: tenbucks20, tenbucks45, tenbucks87, tenbucks34, tenbucks85

Many will no doubt lament the end of the run but in truth I am kind of glad to see it brought to a close. For a while there I was a great fan but it all kind of turned a bit wrong; they kept churning them out to eke out more cash but the passion was gone. The death throes really began several series ago when Aaron Sorkin was pushed out. Now, with Bartlett facing a term limit problem and the recent death of his chief of staff Leo McGarry (played by John Spencer) it seems kindest to let it all fade to black.

Aside: Which twat at the 'Independent' Newspaper decided to go for the two column web layout?

So, Kitty was bored and decided she wanted to do some social networking and i suggested this site "catster". well, what fun she had looking at all those potential friends; she wanted a piece of the action but sadly didn't have any photos. i explained all about intellectual property but she said that although you two are her property, you ain't intellectual so there wouldn't be a problem. she promptly then ripped off photos from both your blogs. i tell ya, she's a wizz with a mouse. anyway, here's the result - http://www.catster.com/?236874 . perhaps to quicken the pace of her expanding social network you could forward that address to friends you have whose cats may have similar interests.

Paul & Kitty.

[Via BBC]

Who's there?

Control Freak. Now you say, "Control Freak who?"

* Je viens de londres. - I am from London
* Merci de me depanner - Thanks for your help
* Ou est la gare? - Where is the station?
* Qu'est-ce qui se passe? - What is happening?
* Ou sont les pompiers? - Where are the firemen?
* Avez-vous un extincteur? - Do you have a fire extinguisher?
* A quelle heure est le couvre-feu? - What time is the curfew?
* Pourquoi brulez vous ma voiture? - Why are you burning my car
* Avez-vous du feu pour allumer mon cocktail molotov? - Do you have a light for my petrol bomb?
* Les gentils Parisiens ne meritent pas ca. - The nice people of Paris dont deserve all this.